THOUGHTS THAT EXHAUST YOU:
We all have an INNER CRITIC, that voice in our heads that reminds us that we need to be better, that we are not enough, and we should be working harder. That everyone else is cleverer, more attractive, more successful. Your inner critic will present you with countless examples of evidence for its’ accusations, proof that it is Right about its’ opinion. It will remind you of past shortfalls like the ‘fact’ that at school your best friend was praised for her academic achievements but no matter how hard you worked no one praised you. Any small mistake and the inner critic jumps at the opportunity; “You see! Dumbass! You aren’t so clever, are you?”
What is it for you? how have you not lived up to the expectations of your inner critic? What do you still need to fix, change, improve before you will be acceptable. And if you ever actually achieve one of these goals, your inner critic will be onto the next one, no time to rest in the exhausting unattainable pursuit of BETTER.
Without defining realistic objectives in life, we leave it up to our inner critic to define the finish line and if you are still running, still increasing the speed and incline of your Rat Race Treadmill with no end in sight you can be assured that your inner critic is the one in control. The tail is wagging the dog.
EMOTIONS THAT EXHAUST YOU:
It’s the emotions that you are avoiding, that you bottle-up, that require copious amounts of your precious energy to maintain adequate suppression. What do you think happens to your blood pressure after decades of tightening the lid on that bottle? Why do you think so many people are on medication for high blood pressure?
Right from when we are little we are trained and rewarded for suppressing our loud and messy emotions. If rewards didn’t work, then threats of punishment often sufficed. The result is that we are all experts in denial, distraction, and suppression but very few of us know how to debrief and process these uncomfortable emotions, relieving the pressure, so we are able to rest and restore our energy.
BELIEFS THAT EXHAUST YOU:
Beliefs about our obligations in life can drive us to exhaustion. A belief that we need to keep everyone around us happy and harmonious before we can be at ease. A belief that no one can do a job as well as we can. A belief that we must be good or perfect for people to accept us. A belief that your to-do-list must be complete before you can rest. Your house needs to be perfect before you can be satisfied with it. Your partner needs to be different before your relationship can be fulfilling. You are only worthy when other people say you are. Your child needs to be less, or more, before you can feel like an admirable parent.
These are like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, so close and yet unattainable. Then the meanings we attach to our failure to achieve these pursuits suck even more energy from our life-force. I need to be a better person, I need to do more courses, I need to help more people, I need to try harder, lose more weight, gain more muscle. I hope you felt the exhaustion just reading the lists…